Therapists have been telling me for YEARS that I need to learn to practice self-care and to stop being so damn hard on myself so…
I’m going back to bed. I know that you may be thinking, “Gee Barb, that’s something you do a lot. What’s the big deal there?”
I’m going back to bed and I’m NOT GOING TO FEEL BAD ABOUT IT! I am not going to lay there feeling exhausted and not really sleeping because I “should” be doing something. I rocked the shit out of this morning. Kids were clean and to school on time, with everything they we’re suppose to take, and with a smile and a song. House is straightened, dinner is planned, my To-Do When I Get Up list is posted on the fridge. I can go back to bed not feeling like a bum. I do not need to mentally berate myself. I do not need to feel like I suck at life because I’m tired and need more sleep. ⭐️ for me!
Halloween is almost here which means my countdown is set to expire. I’m not to the “After Life” I was shooting for but progress has indeed been made. What a fucking year it’s been! Let’s review a little bit.
I made it out of a couple really nasty depression cycles.
I made it through a couple really nasty marital issues.
I got my ADHD kid (and my ADHD self) headed on a less rocky path through life.
There is less shit sitting around in my house an it’s relatively clean on a daily basis. No mountain of laundry hiding downstairs either!
I have much better boundaries in place and I’m getting much better at using the “N” word. NO DAMNIT!
My sugars are still in flux but the range they flux through is much better than it was.
I’ve lost about 20lbs and I have a little muscle showing.
We’re broke all the time again but..there are positives with that! Everything is current. There is ZERO danger of us losing the house. We only eat out 2 times a month. The kids are getting a more realistic picture of how money works and what one really needs (vs wants) to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love a much bigger cushion, but it’s not as horrible as it was before. I consider our finances in decent shape compared to where we started from!
Overall, in “The Big Picture” I think I’ve done pretty good. So, on November 1st, I’ll reset my countdown for another year because I’m still…
GETTING TO THE “AFTER” LIFE!!